Part 3: Road to Scotland with Russell Brand and Katy Perry

Russell Brand may have recently attacked reporters at LAX, but to the left, we see Russell and his fiance Katy Perry at LAX in happier, less violent, times. And, since Russell and Katy are already at the airport, we've convinced them that a hop across the pond would be a guaranteed blast for all. Russell is crazy. Katy is fun. And so, where else should we go with these two
than Scotland, the land of lake monsters and moors?




1. Edinburgh. Our tour begins in Edinburgh. Russell and Katy, who are wearing matching kilts, meet us at our hotel, the Glasshouse. http://www.theetoncollection.com/content.aspx?pageID=450.

Edinburgh Castle.

 Russell explains that we won't need any transportation for getting around the Royal Mile in Edinburgh's Old Town. We start off at Edinburgh Castle, which served an important role in the Scottish War for Independence, which we mainly know about through Mel Gibson's portrayal of William Wallace (prior to Gibson's psychotic break, of course) in Braveheart.  Speaking of Mel, Russell Brand spots the William Wallace statue in front of the gatehouse and does his best  they-may-take-our-lives-but-they-can-never-take-our-freedom speech. We are pretty worried the vivacious Mr. Brand will offend the many Scots milling about the fortress (we've heard more than one conversation regarding Scottish independence during our stay in Edinburgh). As such, we decide to escort Russell out of the hallowed castle ASAP and move on to safer sites before he starts reenacting any further scenes from the film.

Old Town

Next up, Katy has arranged for us to take a literary tour. Starting at Calton Hill, we get a glimpse at Robert Louis Stevenson's fave view of the city, and move onto Heriot Rowe, where this author of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde grew up. Finally, we end up at the Beehive Inn, where Robert Burns, the much loved Scottish poet, is said to have watched cockfights during his time in Edinburgh. Katy, Mr. Fashionista and I decide to try some of the delicious treats at this pub, namely a 25 year old Ardbeg Single Malt Scotch, which we get for free due to Ms. Perry's celebrity status. http://www.undiscoveredscotland.co.uk/edinburgh/pubguide/beehiveinn.html. Russell, who has been sober for years now, has a Shirley Temple. Russell's sobriety, however, does not prevent him from quoting Robert Burns in a very earnest manner, "O, My Luve's like a red, red rose/ That's newly sprung in June/ O, my luve's like a melodie/ That's sweetly play'd in tune." Katy, who's a little tipsy after her drink, slaps Russell's thigh and calls him silly, while batting her eyelashes. Mr. Fashionista and I feel a bit awkward and we head back to the hotel, strolling through the romantic old town. We agree to meet early the next day as we're heading into the highlands.


2. Braemar and Scottish Highlands

Mist rolling over the Highlands.

The next morning, after eating a full Scottish breakfast at our hotel, which consists of eggs, black pudding (blood sausage), haggis (sheep's heart, liver and lungs simmered in the sheep's stomach) and tattie scones (potato scone), Russ and Kate show up at the hotel in a Rolls Royce. Seriously. It's a Rolls Royce.

We all hop into the car and drive onward to our destination, Braemar, which is the site of the Highland Games Gathering. http://www.braemargathering.org/ The Games have been held annually on the first Saturday in September since 1832.

Highland Games. Throwing the caber.

On our way to Braemar, we pass breathtaking scenery, the highland mist surrounding us. Even Russell is silenced by its beauty, until a flock of sheep soon blocks our path. At this point, Russ hops out of the car and takes this opportunity to commune with the fleeced ones. He leans over and whispers in one of their ears. Baaaaah, the sheep bleats. Russ gets back into the car: "That fellow there told me he has seen many moons and that fleecing is sh*te."  We kind of love it that Russell so closely resembles his character in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, but do wonder if Katy ever gets sick of his shenanigans.

After the flock moves, we continue on and arrive at the Games. We make our way to our seats. Oh my god. QEII is here. That's right, the Queen of England is here and we can see her. Mr. Fashionista is not nearly as excited as I am for some reason (imagine). Just then, we notice that Russell has disappeared. There across the field is Russell in a wife beater and kilt, precariously balancing a giant log perpendicular to the ground like a waiter with a pile of dishes. Russ then proceeds to throw the log in front of him, and, incredibly, succeeds in flipping the log, aka throwing the caber. We all cheer for the crazy man.


After the games are over,  we get back into the Rolls and head for Dalmunzie Castle in the middle of the Highlands. http://www.celticcastles.com/castles/dalmunzie-castle/. Since it's been a very busy day, we all head to bed early to prepare for our journey to the Isle of Skye.

3. Isle of Skye.

Portree.

The next day we wake up early and head through the Highlands and over the bridge from the mainland to the Isle of Skye. Once there, we make our way to Portree http://www.undiscoveredscotland.co.uk/skye/portree/index.html, the largest town on the island. Once there, we decide to do a little window shopping on the main street in town. To our delight, we soon run into a group of bagpipers. Katy requests Auld Lang Syne and sings the famous Scotch tune while the bagpipes play. Soon, a small crowd gathers mesmerized and cheers for her after the song ends. Afterwards, Russell grabs Katy and abruptly tells Mr. Fashionista and me that they are both very tired and need to head back to the hotel. We agree to meet back in town in a few hours.

View of Cuillin Mountains from Scorrybreac circuit.

With a few hours to ourselves, Mr. Fashionista and I decide to do a little hiking in the area. We find out from some locals that a popular walking route is the Scorrybreac circuit. http://www.walkhighlands.co.uk/skye/ Starting at Scorrybreac Road, we stroll leisurely down the path until we see a cozy looking bench to check out the vistas across Loch Portree to the distant Cuillin Mountains. As Mr. Fashionista and I sit there, breathing in the clean fresh air, we wistfully think about how living in the country could be a wonderful idea. I pluck a thistle from the ground and hand it to Mr. Fashionista with a smile. We head back to town and meet back up with Russell and Katy.

After we find our celebrated friends, we pile back into the car and head off to Dunvegan Castle http://www.dunvegancastle.com/content/default.asp, the ancestral seat of the MacLeod Clan, which also  houses the mythical Faerie Flag of Dunvegan. Russell has apparently been here before and tells us the tale of how a fairy fell in love with and married the 4th MacLeod chief and presented him with a flag as a parting gift, promising him that it would provide him and his Clan with protection three different times (the flag has been used twice in battle so far, both times successful). After exploring the castle for awhile, we head down the road to the Fairy Bridge, which Russ informs us is the very site where the MacLeod chief's fairy wife left her husband to rejoin the fairy world. As we cross, Russ practically yells at us to quickly wish the fairies well before we are completely over the bridge, lest we upset them and they bring us all a heap of misfortune! Never one to doubt superstition, I quickly think happy thoughts about all things Tinkerbell.

Scottish thistle.

After our jaunt into the history and folklore of the Isle of Skye,  Katy tells us that she and Russ must leave us tomorrow and giggles. When I ask her why so soon, Katy looks at Russell, and then turns to us: "Well, you see we actually got married earlier today when you two were on your walk!" Russ chimes in: "Fooled you, didn't we?" Well, yes, yes they did. I congratulate them repeatedly and Mr. Fashionista, the romantic that he is, hands the new Mrs. Brand the thistle I gave him earlier in the day and wishes them all of the happiness in the world.


Cheerio dear hearts! Stay tuned for more traveling around the globe with celebrities next week. If you missed our last installment with George Clooney and Elisabetta Canalis in Sicily, see: http://fashionistainhydepark.blogspot.com/2010/09/part-2-road-to-sicily-with-george.html