The Great Pumpkin at Milan Fashion Week

Just in time for the Halloween season, we present the Great Pumpkin. In all fairness to Raf Simons who designed the 2011 Spring Jil Sander Collection, we actually loved several of his looks recently shown at Milan Fashion Week.  In the collection, Mr. Simons played with both volume and layering of garments in unexpected ways with fantastically bright colors. This look, however, was not one of the looks that we loved. The proportions of this dress are, in a word, enormous.We can't imagine how a normal person would ever wear this, except of course as a halloween costume.

Continually Disturbed by Willow Smith

Jada Pinkett Smith and her nine-year-old daughter, Willow Smith, have been making the rounds at Milan Fashion Week. And we don't mean to be sticks-in-the-mud or anything, but we can't help but be incredibly disturbed by Willow's Rihanna-styles at such a young age. On the other hand, at least her outfits (costumes?) are not revealing or anything. But, there's just something so utterly excessive about it. Of course, we know that Little Miss Thing fancies herself a pop star or something and so these ensembles are somewhat appropriate in that context, but still, but still, we kinda wish she was just wearing a sweet little dress from Gap Kids. Age aside, the kid is a pretty hip dresser. I mean we could maybe get on board with the skunk hair, newsprint, boxer look ... for someone ten years older than herself? Or perhaps there's a futuristic Rocky musical, starring a female child as the lead, in her future?

Please god, no.

Our main concern, dear readers, really, is that the Smith kids are going to grow up to be the most insufferable little socialites that ever hit the celebrity circuit (there's not much hope for brother Jaden, either, we fear). We certainly hope their nanny is paid some serious cash.

Only time will tell, we suppose. But the writing is most definitely on the wall (or in this case, on the clothes).

Part 2: If We Were Rachel Zoe in London...

And, finally, one of the hottest trends at London Fashion Week was lace. And, not surprisingly, London really managed to do lace in a prim and proper, but often unexpected, way.

1. Afternoon Tea. At LFW this year, Christopher Kane showed lacy ladylike looks in neon shades of yellow, pink, orange and green fit for tea with a queen. Below is one of his fashion forward frocks in neon green. We could totally see Gwyneth Paltrow having tea with Madonna (if the two of them ever reconcile, that is) in this getup. Plus, the suit is a little edgy like Ms. Paltrow likes.