Project Runway: Ivy is the New Gretchen

Hello dear hearts! It's time to recap tonight's episode of Project Runway, otherwise known as "Ivy is the New Gretchen".




1. Final thoughts on Peach:

Tonight's episode began with April lamenting last week's departure of the beloved Peach. April is understandably upset because she lost her roommate and is now forced to move in with the remaining girls, Gretchen, Val and Ivy. As the four ladies leave for the workroom, April quips: "We're the fantastic 4 and you've abducted April."



(FYI Mr. Fashionista informs me that if April knew anything at all, then she'd know the Fantastic 4 were soon to be the Fantastic 3).

2. A Cruise around the Harbor.
Cut to the runway. "Hello." Heidi is wearing blue satin pants with red high heels. We do not approve. She informs the remaining designers that they will be designing resort wear this week. Mike C is pretty sure he has it in the bag because he's from Palm Beach. Mondo says running around in his underwear is his idea of resort wear because he doesn't leave the house. Uh oh. This does not bode well for poor Mondo.

Next up, a cruise around New York Harbor, complete with mimosas, to get some inspiration for their resort wear challenge. We are assuming New York Harbor is pretty toxic, so I can't imagine what kind of inspiration for lounging around on the beach our designers are getting from their cruise past the Statute of Liberty. I suppose, however, that Lifetime didn't feel like coughing up the cash for a quick trip to Miami. Casanova says this challenge is very Michael Kors, which means it is so not his challenge. Again, foreshadowing? April says she's going to do some black "creepy" resortwear. We are intrigued.


After a little sketching on the yacht, the designers are off to Mood. Tim goes around to the designers letting them know it is all about their design aesthetic and keeping true to themselves, which, is, of course, somewhat ironic since we are soon to find out that the designers will not be executing their own designs.




3. How Screwed are the designers?

Back at Parsons, Tim has a bag. "When Tim has a bag, it's trouble." Val says. And, of course, it is trouble. The designers will be working in pairs. Each will be executing the other's design and each designer will be judged on how the other has executed their design.



Everyone is terrified that they will be paired with Mike C and his subpar sewing skills.

Val and Andy breathe a sigh of relief as they find out they will be working together. Andy, however, is pretty worried because he doesn't think that Val has done much swimwear.

Then Mike C and...Mondo are paired. Mondo says "Oh yay" for everyone in the room to hear. Mondo then tells Mike C point blank that his construction sucks and he's afraid because Mike C has immunity. Mondo is appalled that Mike C does not have a ruler. Mondo also hates Mike C's shiny disco fabric. In other words, Mondo hates Mike C.

April and Christopher are paired next. He's cool with April because she can drape. Damnit. These two are so not going to provide us with any drama.

Moving on we have Casanova and Gretchen. She's nervous, but says she really enjoys his company. (Gretchen sure has had a face turn in the past couple of weeks). Hysterically, Casanova complains that because she thinks he can't speak English, Gretchen keeps on making him oversized sketches  in the designer's equivalent of speaking loudly and slowly. 


Michael Drummond and Ivy then get hooked up. Michael explains that he's handing over what he does best to her and she's handing over all her neuroses to him. Ha! Unfortunately for you Mike, truer words were never spoken.


4. Ladies and Gentlemen, Michael Kors will be Playing the Role of Tim Gunn this Evening.

Once the designers get to work, Mondo realizes that Mike C is actually a good guy (not one who can actually sew, but one who will try his best) and they kiss and make up.



Then, in a fun twist, Michael Kors gives the crew a pep talk and his two cents, working the room a la Tim Gunn. Kors first warns Casanova that beige pants can come off as old and he should be careful. Casanova must be rubbing off on Gretchen, too, because Michael also thinks her ideas seem old lady.

Michael isn't impressed by what Mondo has planned either, saying he need to be careful using a lot of bright colors and patterns. Mike D likes Mike C's glam fabric, but tells him his design should be kept simple as a result.

Mr. Kors is in LOVE with April's design, telling her to consider doing a tailored boy short with sheer overlay. April tells him that has been her plan all along. Kors is a fan of Chris' draping.

After Ivy explains her design in an incredibly unclear, scatterbrained way to Mr. Kors, he questions why her design has been so dumbed down. Mr. Kors likes the idea of Michael Drummond's design, but wants him to make sure he keeps it sexy.

Michael says that Andy's design is a lot of work, so they had better make sure they can get it done.Kors is baffled by Val's color choice, which is a cadet blue, and then lets Val know that the judges have really been hating all of her color choices lately. Val doesn't know why the judges hate her so much. Boo hoo Val. You're usually in the top and have only been in the bottom once!

Michael Kors leaves the room and then we get the real drama for the evening. Michael Drummond is having problems executing Ivy's design and Ivy gets...crazy, looming over his shoulder as he sits at the sewing machine, telling him stitch by stitch how to execute. You can feel her crazy absorbing into him. Poor guy.

The Runway.

And the judges are our usuals Heidi, Michael, and Nina, plus guest judge Kristen Bell. We're excited Kristen Bell is there. She is one of our fave young actresses as we've been watching her work her comedic magic since the very first episode of Veronica Mars. And on to the runway!

• Mike C presents a shiny jumpsuit with belt that looks pretty good. Not our thing, but it works ok.
• Mondo presents a colorful bikini with boy short and windbreaker. We like all of the color, but it does come off a little cheap. The judges agree, putting him in the bottom three. They think his work is very junior, straight "from the sales rack at Forever 21." Ouch.
• Michael Drummond's look is, we think, a little formal looking for the beach. But it's interesting and, overall, we like it. So, do the judges. He makes the top 3.
• Ivy's is one of the most boring and unattractive outfits we've ever seen on Project Runway. But that's pretty much par for the course for her. Judges put her in the bottom 3 for her lack of imagination.
• Chris' design is draped. Eh.
• April's look is in a word, awesome. Very dominatrix. We love it. And so do the judges. She's in the top 3.
• Casanova's pants and shirt do not look at all like resort wear. And, again, it's old lady. If only he had presented the work from the very first week...the judges agree and Senor Casanova is in the bottom 3.
• Gretchen has made a flowy two-toned jumpsuit. We like.
• Valerie's is a flowy shirt paired with shorts in one of the ugliest patterns we've ever seen. Really, Val? Yuck.In our opinion, this should have been in the bottom instead of Mondo. We have not been loving her for a few weeks now.
• Andy has made a purple and gray sexy one-piece bathing suit with cover up. It's very cute. Love it. The judges like his bathing suit and choice of fabric. Top 3 for Andy, who we admit should be good at resort wear since the kid's from Hawaii.

And the winner is...April for her "tough punk baby doll" ensemble. We totally agree. There was no contest really.




The loser is...Casanova. Why? Cuz he made old lady clothes. And so Casanova is auf'ed. Tears. We loved him.

Of course, before the aufing, we had some more high drama with Ivy. Ivy, who was also in the bottom 3 this week, blames her craptacular garment on Michael Drummond's sewing skills or lack thereof. All of the judges basically explain to her that's she's the problem, not Mike D. See, Ivy you don't know how to design and you're a boring, talentless, hack who has developed an annoying personality in order to prolong your stay on a reality tv show (that last bit there may be my own personal opinion). Oh. And then she receives the insult of this season. After Ivy is through yelling at Michael D., Heidi looks at Ivy with disgust and says: "You just threw him under the bus." Congrats Ivy, you're the new Gretchen. Except for the fact that, unlike Gretchen, you have no talent. This girl better be gone next week.


And now we leave you with the immortal words of Casanova:

"I grab one ball of New Jork and New Jork grab one of mine."



Casanova, you will be sorely  missed.